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Faraway Competition - First Prize Winners             7-9 age group

22/9/2016

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Faraway Village of Take It by Tahmeed Alam
1st Prize Short Story

One hot summer day a group of friends called George, Quentin and François were lying in the sun eating delicious cooked marshmallows near a camp in the middle of the freaky woods. They loved camping in the summer holiday. 
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François suddenly spotted something strange in a very thick tree.  “Hey guys! There’s a hole in the tree!” 
The others immediately turned around and yes, there was an enormous hole in the tree! “Yeah, so what are you waiting for? Grab a ladder and get up that thing!” cried George.
    
So they got a small ladder and climbed up the old tree. As soon  as  the  three boys  stuck  their  small  heads  in, they  were sucked  in.... An air vacuum had sucked in the boys. “What is happening, can you tell me? I think I’m going to die,” cried Quentin. François was more frightened.

After what seemed like ages, the boys finally popped out of the tree into a strange land! “Wow, this is very far away from home! I cannot even see our camp! It must be millions of miles away from our world!”  
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“Hey guys instead of chatting be quiet and let’s explore this place!” said Quent.  So, like he said, Quentin, his brother, and his best friend went exploring this new faraway place. The boys found a gigantic sign which said: ‘WELCOME TO THE FARAWAY VILLAGE OF TAKE IT.’ 

Everything in this village was similar to Earth but bigger and brighter and stronger. The toys here were to die for, beyond any kids’ imagination. “Hey!  You think we could take all the things we want?” “Well, how can we take everything? It’s way too many things” said Quent. Just then they saw a machine labelled ‘SHRINK IT.’ In no time, all the things were made tiny with the machine and fit into a single backpack. “Let’s go!” said George. So they did.

They jumped into the hole, and flew back to camp. They were very excited about their treasure and they couldn’t wait to go home. 

As they were leaving they heard a loud booming voice, “Greetings! Some greedy people have taken everything at once from the ‘Village of Take it’ and so it will no longer exist, xist, ist!!” it echoed. “To save this place, they must send back their most favourite thing to ‘Take it’!”
      

“Oh no! That means I have to give that model sword from the Battle of Britain!” wailed Quent “And I need to give my PlayStation5!” interrupted George. “And I need to give my ‘The Village’ Lego Minecraft Set!” said François. It was a mistake to be so greedy!
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As soon as the boys came back to their camp, they rushed home, got their favourite things, and travelled back to the faraway land of ‘Take It.’ One by one, they placed their favourite items in the centre of the village. Then the kids went back down the big hole. They had saved ‘Take It’ and learned an important lesson about greediness.

Far Away by Angeline Maligat
​1st Prize Illustration

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Faraway by Laura Hoch
1st Prize Poem

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These entries were awarded prizes in the Faraway Competition 2016. They will be published in the upcoming Faraway Anthology alongside other award-winning and highly commended entries, and comments from the judges.
More award-winning entries will be shared on the Creative Write-it blog in the coming weeks.
All prize winners have been awarded vouchers which can be used towards any Creative Write-it program, including our online writing mentorships for 'faraway' writers.
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Author Talk: Michael, Year 4

26/5/2016

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1) Hi Michael, thanks for taking the time to answer some questions for us. First of all, congratulations on coming 11th in the Atlantis Short Story Contest. How do you feel?
I feel happy and proud because I got a good position in the competition. Ben sent me the website link,then I paid to enter. I sent an email to the website with the needed information.

2) What sort of feedback did you receive from the judges? Did you learn anything that has helped your writing?
The judges gave me constructive feedback. I have learned that it’s normally good to have more than one problem. You would have had a better story if you added more problems.

3) Can you tell us about the inspiration for your story? Did you have a clear plan before you started writing?
My sister Mia inspired me by writing another story which I liked. I did have a plan which was clear. Mia wrote a story about dolphins. It inspired me by making me want to write another story which could fit in with the amount of words needed.  

4) We learn a lot about Jake, your main character, in the first section of the story. How did you decide what details to include?
Ben and my sister helped to make the decisions and the rest of the first paragraph I did my self. They asked me questions about the main character, then I wrote in my answers in that section.

5) Are you working on any other stories?
I am writing another story which I am typing up. It is about a mad scientist who wants to destroy the world, but I haven’t enjoyed it as much as Jake and the Peach. It is less realistic.

Click here to read Jake and the Peach! 


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Jake and the Peach

26/5/2016

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By Michael Sudianto, Year 4

One day a nerd named Jake was in his house studying math. Jake was 26 years old. He wished he was a king, but he wasn’t. He wanted to be king because he would have been important. Jake’s worst nightmare was having a heart attack, dying and having a sister. He didn’t want a sister otherwise she would probably be mean. His house was pretty small and his room and kitchen was really messy, but he loved it. In his room there was a table, a bed and cupboard. In his kitchen he had a rice cooker, microwave, an oven and random rotten food on the floor. He thought it was disgusting. Jake was roughly 25,000, lived in America, and didn’t live with his parents anymore. He normally studied math, English and science. He worked on improving on his math, English and science skills because he was a nerd. Jake mostly enjoyed studying science. He liked it very much and he found it very interesting, he thought it was easier than math and English and he liked experimenting. He found it easier because there is always a way to improve and you always can improve in science.  Jake liked peaches. He was planning to eat it. The peach was there for 1 hour. Jake bought it 1 hour ago from Coles. It was only a single peach because Jake only bought one of the freshest peaches from Coles. Jake liked peaches because he thought they were juicy and it was the one juiciest peach at Coles. Jake just asked if it was really juicy.
     When he was about to answer a math equation God said “Take the peach to King Larry!’’ Jake was surprised and shocked because God spoke to him. He jumped and said “What has just happened?” So Jake picked up the peach and went to King Larry’s spectacular palace. On the way Jake read a map, it said to take a right turn but he accidently took a left turn which made him get there 20 minutes slower. Jake was in Eurolie Street when he went the wrong way. When Jake got there he was exhausted. He was sweaty, hot and puffing. He was exhausted. Jake also felt really happy because he made it to the royal palace in a reasonable amount of time (not including the time when he went the wrong way). Jake smiled as Jake approached the majestic palace, God told him to give the peach to King Larry. The magnificent palace was made out of stone and was humongous with a large swimming pool next to it. There was even a tennis court roughly 2m away from the swimming pool.  When Jake was about to get in the amazing palace, the guards came. They said “Why are you here boy!?”
     “I’m here because I want to give this peach to King Larry.” Jake said. Jake was scared and terrified of the guards. His teeth were actually chattering. The guards let him in. When Jake went in he saw King Larry in the hall way. Jake gave him the peach. Once Jake gave the peach to the king, God transferred the peach to heaven. When the peach arrived God made it into a healing bomb.    
     Meanwhile a random teleporting angel came from somewhere, saw God and became jealous. The teleporting angel was a show off, fast and inaccurate. Every time he plays aiming games he misses the target and when he sees almost anyone he tells them how fast he is.
     Jake was walking back home. Now he knew how to get to the palace and how to go back home from the palace. Jake really wanted to tell his parents what happened on his phone and tell his friends that he met in high school.
     When God finished making the healing bomb the teleport angel started attacking God. First the teleporting angel tried to do a round- house kick, but he missed. After that the teleporting angel did a front kick, but he missed again. Then the teleporting angel teleported behind God and punched him. He missed and God finally threw the healing bomb at the teleporting angel and it hit him in the stomach. He felt weird, stopped fighting, thanked God and said he was really sorry. After that he fell on the ground.                                                 
     Now the teleporting angel knows not get jealous over someone or something and you shouldn’t fight. Also Jake now knows to try being as accurate as you can. 

Jake and the Peach was recently awarded 11th place out of 198 entries in the Atlantis Short Story Contest 2016. Congratulations Michael!

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Author Talk: Noah, Year 3

26/4/2016

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Can you tell us a bit about yourself?
I like to play cricket. I like pizza.

What is the title of your latest story and what is it about?
Diary of a Wimpy Padawan. It's about a padawan who doesn’t like events in school.

What inspired this story?
This started as an exercise at Creative Write-it.

What is your favourite part about writing?
My favourite part about writing is creating narrative stories.
 
What do you think is the hardest part?
Creating a problem.

What's your advice to someone who would like to be a better writer?

Think of what you like and combine all those ideas together.

If you could have one force power, what would it be?

Using a lightsaber!

Diary of a Wimpy Padawan


Day One: I dislike lightsaber skills day. It was a very long day. The laser ball shoots real lasers! It was one OF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE! One of my best friends actually got killed by a blast shot by the laser ball.
I also hate Gammy the alien’s food cooking. It tastes like snot, worms, flies and paper (SSSSSSSSSH! Don’t tell him that!) Hang on I’m about to go to… slleeeppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp.

Day Two: I had to wake up very early at five-ish to go to school. My almost best friend Pierre was with me. As we opened the blinds, we saw the amazing three blue suns...and we were late for school! Mr. Garfield put me and Pierre in three hour detention! Instead of a fun game of octopus (yay!) we had to do triple somersaults (worst thing in the world). I hate you Mr. Garfield! You made my almost best friend die by banging his head!

Day Three: Another bad day! I was late for school again. I’m glad I missed surviving on Hoth. But now I have to survive on Mustafar! Every time I went on a lava skift I kept on falling into lava. I had to call on my teacher Mr. Garfield to rescue me. The lava cut my pants in half. Bad Mr G, you saved me too late!

Day Four: I still quiver from lightsaber battle day! I MADE IT THROUGH TO THE FINAL ROUND! But then my best friend (William) turned off my lightsaber and I got eliminated. I still throw a punch at him any time I see him. Bad William!
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Atti and Friends: The Spider That is Big

18/3/2016

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By Atticus, Year 3
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One day, Atti, Fishlegs and Leela were thinking about forgiving Dark Atti for killing Idgie.
“Is that jerk Tom responsible?” asked Atti.
“Beats me.  Who wants nachos?” asked Fishlegs.  Everyone looked at him.  “Maybe sushi?”  
Leela slapped him. “Cake, then,” said Fishlegs, as he fell over.
“Don’t make me do this the hard way!” said a voice coming from the living room.
“Fimly, what are you doing?” said Atti.
A little plushy cat came in and said, “What do you want, birdbrain?”
“What were you doing?” said Atti.
“Oh, uh, nothing” said the plushy cat. Fimly had a pink nose, blue eyes, grey fur (like Leela), short ears, white whiskers and was very fluffy.
“I think that you were doing something suspicious,” said Atti curiously.
“Oh, um, I was just…trying to open the lab with the computer.  Yeah, that’s what I was doing,” said Fimly nervously.
“Do you want nachos, Fimly?” asked Fishlegs as he woke up.
“Oh, please,” said Fimly, “who would want nachos from a fat cat like you?”
“Justin Bieber,” said Fishlegs.
“Justin Bieber is an enemy of songs to me,” said Fimly.
“But Justin Bieber is the best singer ever,” said Fishlegs.
Suddenly, there was a crash coming from the kitchen which interrupted Fimly saying, “What in the world?  You cats are really addicted to Justin Bieber”.
“What was that?” asked Leela.
“Maybe fries?” said Fishlegs.
They walked into the kitchen and were surprised to see two red, glowing eyes in the darkness of the hallway. “Brother…” said a voice.
“Oh, not this again!” said Atti.
Please don’t be my brother, please don’t be my brother, please don’t be my brother, thought Atti.  But unfortunately, it was.  The red eyes seemed to be getting closer, but it seemed like they never left the hallway.

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March 11th, 2016

11/3/2016

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By Andrea, Year 4
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photo by joyosity
On the 15th of February, 2016, a man named Bob came to Ice Cream Land for a relaxing holiday. But it wasn’t very relaxing. He left in a rocket at 6.00am and arrived at 6.01am in space when he saw ICE CREAM LAND!

There was no sign saying it was Ice Cream Land but he could tell because it was full of ice cream. The rocket left him at the coldest part of Ice Cream Land, which is the northern part. When he found his hotel, he went out to play. When he ran out he didn’t see the sign that said “HOLE” (because it was camouflaged in the ice cream because it was made of ice cream) and he fell down. Then the ice cream man filled up the hole and Bob was stuck. He tried to dig to the top but nothing happened.

A little girl ran over the hole and the ice cream fell down, and Chocolate Cookies And Cream, the owner of Ice Cream Land, uncovered Bob and he got out of the ice cream and went to sleep in his hotel.
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Dumpster Story

4/3/2016

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By Jake, Year 6
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Once upon a time in a little downtown alley way, there was a thing who lived in a magical dumpster. It was nice and shiny with bits of rotten carrot and used diapers and it smelled really nice with wafts of baby poo coming out of the bin liners. Jokes! He lived in a manhole in New York City, which he rented from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, who bought a new lair in the outskirts of Manhattan where all the bad guys were. That’s why the ninja turtles had so many bad guys to fight. The thing’s manhole was a luxury with one bedroom and a pool (the sewer).  
  

One day the thing dropped his cellphone into the sewer. "Oh no, I dropped my cellphone into the water. Now I can’t go on social media."
​All of a sudden a floating stick came floating down from the roof and floated its way into the Thing’s hands.

He reached out for his phone but he missed it and dropped the stick. Another floating stick came into his hands. He reached out again. This time it worked. He picked his phone up. It was dropping water. It was broken so he threw it over his shoulder and got a new phone from his pile of new phones that he gets for free from Apple because he is sponsored.

 


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Twinkle

24/2/2016

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By Bianca, Year 3
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Once there was a fairy whose name was Twinkle. Every morning she went to the fireflies and fed them till they were full. Her friend Janet was jealous of her because Twinkle got to feed the fireflies and Janet didn't. Janet was so jealous that the next day when Twinkle started feeding the fireflies Janet popped up and said, “Can I have a turn?”
“Yes,” said Twinkle. But Janet just snatched the food and ran away with it. Twinkle felt bad.

Twinkle started to think. She thought: should I run away in the opposite direction or should l go and try to find out were Janet went? She thought about lots of things. Even about how Janet felt. So she decided to run away from the fairy village too but in the opposite direction. She went to the forest but she took the fireflies with her. The forest was big and dark inside. Twinkle decided to take a nap till the morning.

When she woke up Janet was in front of Twinkle waiting for Twinkle to wake up. When she was awake, Janet said, “Do you want to run a race?”
“Yes,” said Twinkle. Then they ran a race. It had 12 laps of flying around a tree and 1 lap of karting around the tree. They ran the race. Twinkle was winning, then Janet, then Twinkle fell down but…Wow! She actually had the tip of her finger over the line! Janet exclaimed, “Ok, you win! You can go and have the food. It is inside the tree.” So they fed the fireflies and then went back to the fairy village and lived happily ever after.


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About Shells

19/2/2016

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By Evelyn, Year 1
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My story starts with a frog that lived in a pond. His name was Lica and he had a shell that made a special sound. It sounded like footsteps in the night.

One day, Lica put the shell to his ear but it didn’t make any sound. He shook it but it still didn’t make the sound. Then a snake came to Lica and said, ‘What’s wrong?’
Lica said he couldn’t hear the sound his shell normally makes and the snake said, ‘That’s okay,’ and he fixed it.

Lica was so happy that he jumped up.
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Little Lleyton and the Stolen Cake

11/2/2016

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By Josia
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Little Lleyton was at Ben’s house to play a tournament for Sady’s foundation, the 'Australian Best Woman Bake My Day Competition.' Sady didn’t have a tennis court at home so she asked Ben if they could have the tournament at his house. For this special event, scores were replaced with the word bake. Whoever won got a cake. The score was bake-bake-bake. Ben needed two more bakes to win.
"Yes! I win the cake!” said Ben. “I will put it in my bedroom and close the door so a  thief won’t steal it.”


A mouse got in and stole the cake, and when Ben found out he got so mad that he called the Cake Cops. All of the alarms at the Cake Cops HQ made a racket. Alexandra watched the Cake News on TV and ran to Ben’s House. Alexandra was Sady’s older sister. She was worried about Sady dying because there might be cake bombs. Cake bombs might look like lollies but they are real bombs which explode inside cakes. The Cake Cops arrived at Ben’s house and started interviewing Ben, Sady and Little Lleyton. The Cake Cops couldn't find any clues. Ben felt destroyed and Sady felt awkward but Little Lleyton had a crush on a girl dwarf, so he didn’t care. He was not a care bear at all.

All of the Cake Cops went back to their HQ. They turned on their cake computers and started looking for the thief. “I’m close”, said one of the Cake Cops. His computer was flashing, then beeped. “Got him!” said the cop.
He got his partner and they got in their cake car. They drove to a forest and saw the mouse standing next to a stump, his face covered with cake. They were too late. The cops told Ben but he didn’t care because he had a crush on Alexandra and had forgotten about his cake.

Little Lleyton ended up going on a date with the girl dwarf at Papparitto Pizza. He spilled a glass of wine on her. The girl dwarf dumped him and said “YOU ARE NOT A USEFUL PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY!” Little Lleyton replied with a “C’MMON!!!”
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