1) Hi Michael, thanks for taking the time to answer some questions for us. First of all, congratulations on coming 11th in the Atlantis Short Story Contest. How do you feel?
I feel happy and proud because I got a good position in the competition. Ben sent me the website link,then I paid to enter. I sent an email to the website with the needed information.
2) What sort of feedback did you receive from the judges? Did you learn anything that has helped your writing?
The judges gave me constructive feedback. I have learned that it’s normally good to have more than one problem. You would have had a better story if you added more problems.
3) Can you tell us about the inspiration for your story? Did you have a clear plan before you started writing?
My sister Mia inspired me by writing another story which I liked. I did have a plan which was clear. Mia wrote a story about dolphins. It inspired me by making me want to write another story which could fit in with the amount of words needed.
4) We learn a lot about Jake, your main character, in the first section of the story. How did you decide what details to include?
Ben and my sister helped to make the decisions and the rest of the first paragraph I did my self. They asked me questions about the main character, then I wrote in my answers in that section.
5) Are you working on any other stories?
I am writing another story which I am typing up. It is about a mad scientist who wants to destroy the world, but I haven’t enjoyed it as much as Jake and the Peach. It is less realistic.
Click here to read Jake and the Peach!
By Michael Sudianto, Year 4
One day a nerd named Jake was in his house studying math. Jake was 26 years old. He wished he was a king, but he wasn’t. He wanted to be king because he would have been important. Jake’s worst nightmare was having a heart attack, dying and having a sister. He didn’t want a sister otherwise she would probably be mean. His house was pretty small and his room and kitchen was really messy, but he loved it. In his room there was a table, a bed and cupboard. In his kitchen he had a rice cooker, microwave, an oven and random rotten food on the floor. He thought it was disgusting. Jake was roughly 25,000, lived in America, and didn’t live with his parents anymore. He normally studied math, English and science. He worked on improving on his math, English and science skills because he was a nerd. Jake mostly enjoyed studying science. He liked it very much and he found it very interesting, he thought it was easier than math and English and he liked experimenting. He found it easier because there is always a way to improve and you always can improve in science. Jake liked peaches. He was planning to eat it. The peach was there for 1 hour. Jake bought it 1 hour ago from Coles. It was only a single peach because Jake only bought one of the freshest peaches from Coles. Jake liked peaches because he thought they were juicy and it was the one juiciest peach at Coles. Jake just asked if it was really juicy.
When he was about to answer a math equation God said “Take the peach to King Larry!’’ Jake was surprised and shocked because God spoke to him. He jumped and said “What has just happened?” So Jake picked up the peach and went to King Larry’s spectacular palace. On the way Jake read a map, it said to take a right turn but he accidently took a left turn which made him get there 20 minutes slower. Jake was in Eurolie Street when he went the wrong way. When Jake got there he was exhausted. He was sweaty, hot and puffing. He was exhausted. Jake also felt really happy because he made it to the royal palace in a reasonable amount of time (not including the time when he went the wrong way). Jake smiled as Jake approached the majestic palace, God told him to give the peach to King Larry. The magnificent palace was made out of stone and was humongous with a large swimming pool next to it. There was even a tennis court roughly 2m away from the swimming pool. When Jake was about to get in the amazing palace, the guards came. They said “Why are you here boy!?”
“I’m here because I want to give this peach to King Larry.” Jake said. Jake was scared and terrified of the guards. His teeth were actually chattering. The guards let him in. When Jake went in he saw King Larry in the hall way. Jake gave him the peach. Once Jake gave the peach to the king, God transferred the peach to heaven. When the peach arrived God made it into a healing bomb.
Meanwhile a random teleporting angel came from somewhere, saw God and became jealous. The teleporting angel was a show off, fast and inaccurate. Every time he plays aiming games he misses the target and when he sees almost anyone he tells them how fast he is.
Jake was walking back home. Now he knew how to get to the palace and how to go back home from the palace. Jake really wanted to tell his parents what happened on his phone and tell his friends that he met in high school.
When God finished making the healing bomb the teleport angel started attacking God. First the teleporting angel tried to do a round- house kick, but he missed. After that the teleporting angel did a front kick, but he missed again. Then the teleporting angel teleported behind God and punched him. He missed and God finally threw the healing bomb at the teleporting angel and it hit him in the stomach. He felt weird, stopped fighting, thanked God and said he was really sorry. After that he fell on the ground.
Now the teleporting angel knows not get jealous over someone or something and you shouldn’t fight. Also Jake now knows to try being as accurate as you can.
Jake and the Peach was recently awarded 11th place out of 198 entries in the Atlantis Short Story Contest 2016. Congratulations Michael!
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